Thursday, November 24, 2016

#2: Pre-production jitters and the dilemma of pretention

The script was finally finished on the 19th. This was written  without the film festival in mind. In fact, this is not really suited for that local film fest since this has a really, really, bad ending. Not bad bad, but, you know,  realistic bad.

Miraculously, the production team has already been formed. I chose the people I trust and I love working with.  We are not pros per se but, hey, everybody started naive. Of course, unless you're Einstein you're never naive.

So, here comes the jitters! Jitters! Can we really do this? Where do we get this actor? Money? How do we finance this? Equipment? Where do we get it? Borrow it? Buy it? Steal it?

Jitters. I knew this would come. Every big project I started came with jitters. The eternal confusion. The unending doubt. The bottomless pit of questions.

So here comes the challenge: decisiveness. I have to decide the big and small things. The crucial and the trivial. The tiniest detail should not be missed. And there's time. Decide fast. Decide smart. Decide with caution. Nobody said this would be easy.

And then there's the problem of being pretentious. I think every budding filmmaker is plagued with the unending angst that their films will end up pretentious. I honestly think that's not the problem. That's not even a problem. The more you dwell into the confusion of your films ending up pretentious, the more time you lose actually doing stuff. You'd be stuck betwixt avoiding being pretentious and barely crossing the line of a decent film. So I say: screw it. Write that script. Shoot that film. It doesn't matter if it is pretentious or shitty or outright messed up. Francis Coppola shared the same sentiment. Watch the documentary his wife made: Hearts of Darkness: A Filmmaker's Apocalypse (1991). The man said it so beautifully.

That's why we're here.

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